Bumsters

Our very own Kotu Beach...just steps from our front door

We walk along the water's edge. A tall young black man approaches me with dynamic steps. Unlike the regular fruit-juicer, he has no certain business. I predict he will ask us our names, our country, our well-being, our country's well-being and finally offer all kinds of services - "not for money, you know; you happy, I happy".  He will talk non-stop and follow us closely so that we cannot continue our usual quiet promenade down the beach. Any verbal or non-verbal request for being left alone will be overridden: "Why don't you want to talk, why do you want to walk alone, what's wrong with you, huh, this is Gambia, man, this is the smiling coast, it's nice to be nice".  Sure enough, the man catches up to us, and, sure enough, “Hello, nice couple, what is your name? Where are you from?...."

Madeleine and I just got back from our every-other day stroll on the beach. At least 4 bumsters plagued our otherwise peaceful and quiet meander on the white sands of Kotu.  Bumsters are like jock itch…annoying as heck, unavoidable, and hard to get rid of.

What is a bumster, you ask? The question is not what, but who? And there are many of these "whos" around here. Bumsters are a basic fact of life in the tourist areas of Africa, but in the Gambia they're infamous, not so much for their voracity as for their nickname; everyone, from newspapers to policemen, calls them 'bumsters', which makes it practically impossible to take them seriously. Bumsters make for some good blog material, and this is not the first time I write about them on this blog. (Remember Me?, March 2012)

Bumsters are young, unemployed youths who hang around the beaches of the Gambia, hustling tourists and trying to make money any way they can. The Gambia has high unemployment and no welfare system, so for unemployed young men who cannot make ends meet (as in not eating), becoming a bumster is an appealing temptation as a career choice. Let’s face it, tourists are rich and rather stupid; therefore, dumb, easy meat. Come to think of it, being a bumster sure beats having to work the peanut fields for a living. Consequently, these young notorious entrepreneurs have created their own industry within the pre-existing tourism on the Smiling Coast.  

During our short time here, and because of our many walks on the beach (not much to do here), we have become very adept at spotting these young hustling beach vultures before they approach us with their opening line of hello nice couple, where are you from?. This gives us the advantage of preparing our response to their opening ‘come-on’ line. Needless to say, the first thing that comes to mind is to politely tell them to get lost. However, we quickly learned that this doesn't work, even with a polite 'get lost'. We also quickly learned in those first months of beach combing that being rude to bumsters doesn’t repel them in any way. As a matter of fact, rudeness seems to encourage them in their desperate quest to separate the unsuspecting, stupid tourist from his or her money. I think in the bumster world, the ruder a person is, the more money he has. Kind of makes sense, I guess, but then, I couldn't really tell because I don't know any rich people. All the people I know and hang around with are polite and poor. Madeleine, on the other hand, has become even better than I in deflecting their advances. She tells them that we are not tourists, we live here, and we do not have any gift or money to give them so that they can pay for the funerals of the parents of the group of poor orphan children who miraculously escaped the fire in which all of their parents died in and.... One thing for sure, poor orphan children will always figure in a bumster's appeal for your loose change. 

We’ve encountered different kinds of bumsters.  First of all, there are the harmless yet irritating bumsters; those are the ones described above which you unwillingly meet on the beach.  Then, there are those who will help you solve a small problem in an effort to “just be helpful”, like pointing to the restaurant you were already walking into and saying, this is the restaurant you are looking for, and then proceed in demanding a finders fee for having helped you in locating the restaurant.  If you do not relinquish any money, they will often attempt to get contact information and will write or call you later “as a friend” and ask for money (...and you can bet your bottom delasi that the group of orphans whose parents died in the house fire will come around again...).

And then, there’s my favorite, the ripped, tacky looking male prostitute bumster. This is my favorite one mostly because it is both hilarious and disturbing to an extent. So here is the deal.  Some bumsters look out for “unsuspecting” women of a certain age who are here on vacation or holiday and befriend the lonely wealthier ladies.  I loosely use the work 'unsuspecting' here, because, I may be wrong but, in my opinion, any 40, 50, 60, or 70 year old woman who comes to the Gambia and has a fling or falls in love with an 18 or 20 year old Gambian man is, to put it mildly, out of her mind.

You see these couples all around, not only on the beaches but alongside the roads, walking hand in hand. You have the 20 year old guy (who is generally ripped due to the usual mating ritual of the young stud working out on the beaches in bright clothing trying to out-muscle the other studs and attract the opposite sex) and a mid 40’s to late 60’s woman, arm in arm with the guy holding her purse, or whatever other appendage that usually hangs from 60 year old women in bathing suits.  It is a sight to be seen.  Oh well, to each his/or her own.

The Gambian tourist commission has been trying to eradicate bumsters from their beaches but, unless there are policemen patrolling the beach, they’re there, looking for their prey. The tourist commission says that anyone who is being bothered can turn in a bumster and the bumster culprit will spend the night in detainment followed by a day of “light manual labor.” I don’t know if I would want to be responsible for imprisoning a young man who is clearly just trying to make a living by whatever means necessary.

Despite all their annoying tendencies, when bumsters are not talking to you, they can be somewhat entertaining. It's amusing to see them preening around the beach like peacocks and the spectacle of squats and thrusts they do on the beach to simultaneously tone their bodies and get the lady tourists to notice them is sadly hilarious. Yup, that's basically what it is, funny, yet sad...the odd spectacle of a 22 yr old stud and his 65 yr old girlfriend...he doesn't care who he's with, as long as she foots the bill, and she, who also doesn't care who she's with, as long as he's good 'company'...  Perhaps one day I will sit down with one of these 65 year old girlfriends and find out what this is all about.  Nah, come to think of it, I have better things to do.