Haircut in a Sea Container

I take it the title of this blog entry may have tickled your curiosity? Yes, this entry is about me getting a haircut in a sea container. For those who are still in a belletristic daze subsequent to the reading of my last entry relating to 7-11’s, and who have not yet come down from a state of scholarly euphoria brought on by the thought provoking previous entry about Fred sweeping the street in front of our house, I would strongly suggest that you hold onto your seats as you are about to be launched once more into literary bliss by this third installment of what I call the ‘Raymond needs to get a life’ trilogy. For this third and last entry of my troika of triviality, I have chosen to write about one of the most memorable haircuts I have experienced in my lifetime.

Getting a haircut somewhere in China...people
coming in off the street to have a look at the
white guy with the white hair getting his hair cut.

The idea for this entry came to mind when I was sitting in the barber's chair the other day, relaxing while having my hair washed, massaged, trimmed, blow dried, trimmed some more, washed again, blow dried again, and trimmed one last time for those random hairs sticking out from some hair follicles that quite frankly were not there 20 years ago. Funny how things like that happen as you grow older. Getting your noggin trimmed here in Thailand is a pleasurable experience and has evolved into an extended cosmetological liturgy of scalp pampering.

I've had my hair cut a number of times since I've arrived here in Thailand and each visit always had the same road map to coiffuring this silver mane of mine. First of all, when you get to the hair salon, there's no waiting around, they will immediately assign you to a shampoo person (he/she/he-she)* who will wash your hair. You don't just sit in a chair and lean your head back into a sink thus getting a stiff neck, you lie on a plastic bed with your head resting just at the neck of the sink. Classy. He/she/he-she washes your hair with lukewarm water followed by a head massage which is so incredibly relaxing, if you're into that kind of thing.

Once you’ve had your hair washed and your head massaged, you will be shown to a chair in front of a mirror and your hairdresser will arrive, greet you, and immediately comb out your hair. Then the inevitable question he/she/he-she asks, and in this case in Thai...how would you like your hair cut? Now I have learnt through time that when speaking to a barber who possesses limited English, which in my case is pretty well all barbers I've met who have cut my hair, so much so that I'm starting to believe that not speaking or not understanding English is a requirement to be admitted to barber school, you should refrain from using the words 'not too short', unless of course you want your hair to be cut uber short, as in a crew cut. "Short" they understand, the "not" and the "too", they don't.  

Haircuts in Thailand are drawn out affairs and you can forget thinking that you will be getting a 'quick trim'; quick trims just don't exist here. Once the hairdresser has finished cutting your hair, he/she/he-she will usually call for the shampoo he/she/he-she who will wash your hair for a second time so that you don’t leave the salon feeling all itchy from the loose hair. Sorry, no massaging of your head this second time around. However, at this time, he/she/he-she often deep conditions your hair too. Then it's back to the cutting chair where you are blown dry and styled, with last minute snips to get rid of random and delinquent hairs that got away the first time around.  Yup, even for a simple and basic haircut, you do get the full and impressive treatment here in Thailand, quite different from what I got in Conakry.  Now there was a memorable haircut! I think I'll keep that for my next entry...

* he/she/he-she - While in Thailand I've had my hair cut by guy barbers, girl barbers, and transgender barbers. It's no big deal here...kinda cool.