Powdered money

Last Saturday, Madeleine had decided to go on a little shopping circuit with a lady friend. Bivan picked her up and off they went to another part of town to pick up her friend. They got flagged down by one of Conakry's finest, and proceeded to pull off to the side of the road.

It is interesting to point out here that a traffic cop in Conakry makes a monthly salary of 112$, plus 2 bags of rice thrown in for good measure. The traffic gendarme, after giving an impressive smiling Bonjour to the white lady passenger, politely demanded from Bivan his papers and car registration. The fine agent took his time scrutinizing the papers, shuffling them around, mumbling this and that, and then, announced to Bivan that he was driving in a restricted area, and that unfortunately, this civil disobedience would cost him 100,000 GFrancs (about 17$, but still a sizable amount). Bivan asked the man in blue who, in case one has forgotten, makes a monthly salary of $112 + 2 bags of rice, why this area was restricted on this quiet Saturday morning, and not restricted on every other morning when we drive this exact route to school, and also, by the way, why was it that all those other cars were permitted to drive through and not him?

The law enforcement officer then asked Bivan to get out of the car and follow him to the front of the car, where Madeleine was unable to hear their conversation. She could not hear, but she did notice that the conversation was getting progressively more and more animated, and that Bivan appeared to be getting progressively more and more agitated. It didn’t really look that good. Finally, she watched Bivan hand over some money to the gallant gendarme-at-arms. Our dear deflated driver came back to the car, got in, and started swearing away about what had just played out in front of the car, and this in his typical umBl (unidentified mystery Bivan language) rant, like only Bivan can do when he gets upset about something, and usually this something is about his countrymen.

After awhile, Madeleine was able to decipher from Bivan's rant what exactly had ensued in front of the car. There was really no restricted area, the cop only wanted money, and of course, there was Madeleine in the front seat of the car, who apparently is driven around on Saturday mornings trying to find people to whom she can give away the bucketful's of money she has just burning inside her purse, so this protector of the law decided to stop the car and ask for money, because as we all know, if one does not ask, one does not receive, and that Bivan offered him 15,000 Francs instead of the 100,000, and he could settle for that. They will never believe this back in Canada.

However, what really got Bivan upset, or the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial goat’s back...or is it the camel’s back.... was when the cop told him that he would prefer to be paid in ‘powdered money’ (lots of Nigerian cocaine going around these days). Unabashed, transparent, quasi-honest corruption.

Kind of makes it seem alright. Forget I said that.